As I prepared for my sermon "Life on the Edge" last Sunday (see http://www.svumc.org/sermons.html to listen), I wondered exactly who my audience was. Was I going to be speaking to people who felt like they were at the center or people who felt like they were living on the margins. I must say that the folks at my congregation look pretty together and like they are "center" people, not folks that feel "marginalized," but I know that looks can be deceiving.
Personally, I feel like I have always lived on the edge. As a girl I was too tall, too smart and too quiet to run with the "in" crowd. I was perceived as "snobby," but I really just didn't know how to interact with all the cool people, so I stayed on the sidelines. That was pretty much true at church as well, unfortunately.
When I got to high school, I attended an all-girl school where it was okay to be smart and nerdy (although we didn't have the word "nerdy" yet!). I loved it there and felt at home for the first time in my life. I was still not a part of the group that was wealthy and socially elite, but there were enough of us who just loved to talk about Shakespeare and weird science and history to have a good group.
Church, however, continued to be a place where I was on the margins. I went to a different school from the other kids in youth group. My hobbies were reading and horseback riding; not the usual things. My family was not as wealthy as most of those in the church. My youngest sister died when I was 15, so that set me apart as well. I was persistent enough to just keep coming until I was accepted. And I needed the Christian community even though I didn't always feel at home in it.
As an adult, I have grown to enjoy life on the edge. I now bristle if anyone assumes I am "normal." At seminary all the conservatives thought I was a liberal and the liberals thought I was a conservative. I homeschooled my kids which by definition made me countercultural. I always take a different path toward my goals than the expected one. I also find that I relate to those who are marginalized for whatever reasons better than I relate to those who are in the center of society.
I think this is why Jesus is such a powerful figure for me. Jesus broke the rules and yet fulfilled the spirit of why those rules were created - to form a holy community. Jesus loved those who were unlovable and forgave the unforgivable. In coming to the point where I am better able to center my own life on God and God's kingdom, I can rejoice in who God is forming me to be without so much concern about how others perceive me. I am also a bit wiser in perceiving others; I know now that almost everyone feels on the edge in some aspect of their lives, no matter how "together" they look.
How do you see yourself? Where are you on the edge in this world? Are you able to center yourself on God or does that concept even make sense to you?
Grace and peace,
Martha
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
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